I am sure we all have our ideas of what a 'homeless' person looks like, talks like, acts like, even smells like.....these case studies show that sometime our stereotypes are wrong and that homelessness can happen to anyone. The stories are painful and harrowing, but show that there is help thanks to RSHP and that people do have another chance

 

John's Story

John has been sleeping rough for two months, moving between a friend’s damp shed and an abandoned garage which is covered in urine and used needles. John sleeps in these places because he has no other shelter. He is 26 years old and is desperate for support.

There are many myths around homelessness, but John’s story goes to show it can happen to anyone at any time.

John had lived with his girlfriend and his daughter in West Reading for over 7 years. One morning, no more special than the morning before, John woke up with a severe pain which he thought might be testicular cancer. Concerned, John visited the doctor where he was told that he did not have testicular cancer, but a sexually transmitted disease.

John was shocked, as the only person he had been with since he was 19, was his girlfriend. Upset and angry John challenged his girlfriend, and she admitted that she has been seeing someone else.

Although John and his girlfriend tried to work it out, John found it difficult to get over the betrayal.

John said: “I am old fashioned guy, I thought that once you found someone, it was forever…I had too much self respect to forgive her.”

Living in the same house became impossible as John struggled with his feelings and his temper, eventually leading to him being thrown out of his home, forced to leave his young daughter behind.

After a serious of medical tests, It was later discovered that John did not actually have a sexually transmitted disease which left John torn.

 

“I realised that if it had not been for this mistake, I would never have found out about my girlfriend, and I would still be with the girl and daughter that I love very much.”

John was now alone for the first time. Too embarrassed to go back to his parents and to proud to go to his friends, he was left with no option but to sleep rough. He had always been looked after by his mum and then his girlfriend, and now he had to fend for himself, with nowhere to live and no-one to rely on.

John said, “I went everywhere for help, and every door was shut in my face. RSHP’s door was wide open and I felt they wanted to hear what I had to say, and wanted to help.”

RSHP interviewed John and got him on the fast track to getting a room within a shared house with the charity. In the meantime, John was encouraged to come into RSHP to have a shower, as many cups of tea that he could drink, and to stay somewhere warm and safe during the day.

“I met Kate and Barbara (RSHP Support Caseworkers) who have looked after me and tried their best to help as much as they can. They have been my angels.”

John is very concerned about his daughter, who he misses very much. She misses her dad too, but with the help of RSHP John will have somewhere safe he can see her.

John is now living in one of RSHP's house's. He is already getting professional support from RSHP Support Caseworkers, and thanks to James (RSHP Development Officer) John is now involved in various workshops to help with self esteem, as well as looking to sign up with a college to become a plumber. John is now looking to the future, with help and support to understand and move on from his past.

 

Steve's Story

Steve spends much of his time at RSHP, using the computers available for clients to use and chatting to others. He says that, in some ways, RSHP is the family he never had; supportive, caring, non-judgemental and guiding. “RSHP has given me the best support I have ever had. It’s direct action. They don’t put up with any trouble and they are proactive. Most importantly I can come in and feel safe.”

From an early age Steve had to learn how to survive on his own until, aged 41, he was finally forced to recognise that he needed help. That help came in the shape of RSHP.

Steve has generously agreed to share his story with you. It does not make comfortable reading but it does demonstrate how RSHP has been able to give him the help he needed at the time he needed it most.

Without this help, Steve doesn’t know what would have happened to him…...

From a very young age Steve was sexually and physically abused by his father. The abuse only stopped when Steve left home aged 16. His mother left when he was barely a year old leaving him with no-one to tell and no-one to turn to and a sense that it was all his fault, a belief that was fuelled by his father who consistently told him he was to blame not only for the abuse but also for his mother leaving.

Even today there is a part of Steve that believes this as he recalls the day his mother returned to remove his sister from harm’s way, but left him there.

So, for 16 years, Steve kept quiet.

On one occasion he remembers the neighbours trying to intervene. His father had been beating him throughout the night and they tried to stop him. But they didn’t succeed. They were unable to help and the abuse continued.

Steve felt powerless.

Mildly autistic, branded a slow learner at school, he knew his life was different and that other fathers were not like this with their children.

 

 

 

Finally, aged just 16, Steve left home. He had nowhere to go and no way of supporting himself so he slept rough and ended up working as a sex worker for about five years. This provided him with money and, from time to time, a roof over his head, but very little else and Steve realised he needed to get out.

Steve’s choices were limited but he found that sleeping rough provided him with the anonymity and exclusion he wanted. Today he says that he enjoyed sleeping rough but it seems that really he enjoyed being left alone.

From time to time, Steve went into temporary housing but says that he did this because the people working with rough sleepers asked him to and he wanted to make them feel better. But each time, Steve felt that it wasn’t for him, that he didn’t fit in, so he didn’t stay.

Steve is not an alcoholic, nor is he a drug addict, but he feels that, as he lived on the street, most people passing by him assumed that he was.

Steve says that he never begged as he always believed that his problems were his own and no-one else’s responsibility.

Finally, aged 40, the physical strain of a total of 17 years sleeping rough became too much and, for the first time, Steve gratefully accepted a bed for the night. That night, spent at Reading’s Salvation Army hostel, turned into seven months until a room was found in one of RSHP’s shared houses.

Ironically living in a house presents its own challenges to Steve who is having to learn new disciplines including rediscovering a sense of pride in his surroundings.

He is certainly not looking for anyone’s pity. He claims that for a total of 17 years he chose to sleep rough. But what choice did he really have? When he left his abusive home he had no support network or life skills, he felt worthless and was poorly equipped for mainstream adult life.

Steve only accepted help when he really needed it and admits that, without it, he doesn’t know if he would be here today.

 

David's Story

If you think that everyone that has been homeless has brought it on themselves, read David’s story, the true account of how a young man, at the age of 20, neither an alcoholic nor a drug addict, found himself sleeping rough with no friends and no family.

David didn’t have much of a childhood. His mother was ill, his father used to drink too much and David was left to look after her his Mum. When she died David, aged just 20, had no-one to turn to and found himself homeless.

Today RSHP is working with David to make sure that the future is better than his past.

Until my Mum died, when I was 17, my time was divided between boarding school and caring for her at weekends and during school holidays. She had MS and was blind and practically bed-bound so the social workers decided it would be better for everyone if I went to boarding school.

My Dad was at home but used to drink too much. He never got violent, but the drink made him useless. I had to do everything, even when I was very little. I didn’t get to go out to play and didn’t make many friends.

When my Mum died and I moved back home after my A-levels, my relationship with my Dad deteriorated and it came as no real surprise to me when he told me to leave. I was about 20 at the time and had nowhere to go and ended up sleeping rough for three or four months with nothing but the clothes on my back.

It was tough; I’ve never been into drugs or drink and I got fed-up with people trying to get me to try things, but Friday and Saturday nights were the worst when the pubs and clubs turned out and
people would throw things, kick or shout at me.

And then I was offered a room at the Salvation Army hostel in Reading. After the streets it was like living in a palace. I got three meals a day, had my own room and was able to keep clean. But as everyone was a lot older than me, I didn’t really make friends.

 

 

I stayed there for a year and, during that time, Reading Single Homeless Project put me on their waiting list for a room for me to move into.

Although it took a while, it was worth it as I now have a flat and have been living here for about 18 months.

And, I am back in contact with my Dad. He treats me differently now and regrets the way he was. I got back in contact with him because it’s not easy being on your own…. And he has been through a hard time too. He was made redundant, lost his home, and has had to move back in with his Mum; that has made him think.

When I was growing up I knew that my life was different to other people’s but when you’re a kid you can’t do much about it. Now I am starting to take some control of my life, but it’s difficult. I know that I lack motivation.

I don’t have any friends and so I find it hard to socialise; I have to force myself just to go out – it’s so much easier for me to stay in all day and not see anyone. I have tried to find work but as it’s been so long since I worked, no-one wants to employ me. I understand why, but it makes it hard to keep trying

The time I spend with James, RSHP’s Development is really helpful; he goes out of his way to get me involved in activities that will help me to meet new people and start to build a bit of a life for myself. He is also working with me to help me move away from RSHP’s flat into my own place and to find work or a training course.

Today RSHP is helping me and at least 100 other people in Reading. Without RSHP, I would probably still be living in a hostel or I’d be back on the streets. I’m 24 now and I have a lifetime ahead of me that I hope will keep getting better.

RSHP is doing a good job for people like me and needs your support. Please help if you can.

 

Ken's Story

Becoming homeless wasn’t something Ken expected; although it isn’t something anyone expects.

Ken first moved to Reading in 1964 when he was 19 years old. He had enjoyed a good career in Reading, including 18 years at the Courage Brewery but in 2004, Ken lost his job at a local supermarket. He set straight to the task of finding another job, but he didn’t realise how difficult this would be at 60 years old.

Ken is currently working as a Special Constable (a voluntary police officer) but 18 months on he is still unemployed, and that’s how Ken ended up with RSHP.

 

 

He did have his own house, but with no job in sight the rent became impossible. Ken found it difficult to accept help, but eventually he realised he needed help and moved in to the Salvation Army hostel.

In May 2005, RSHP offered Ken, his own self-contained flat – “it’s really nice”.

Ken said, “I didn’t even have a blanket or tin of food for my new room, so my Housing Officer sorted out the basics for me and has been a constant support. I’m very grateful to RSHP for being there for me at my lowest point.”

to help RSHP continue supporting some of the most vulnerable people in Reading.

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